5. Another day

The other day, I visited sarojini nagar market. Although it’s a bit tacky and crowded at times(?), but to buy certain types of items, sarojini market is the best. So once in a while, I visit the market , to buy small, sweet things to decorate my room or some similar stuff.
While moving through the narrow lanes further narrowed by the bulk stocks of clothes (rehri samaan) spreaded on the ground of the two sides of the lane, suddenly a shopkeeper shouted looking at me {as seen with my crooked eye}……
MADAM MADAM….GID GAYA GID GAYA (fell down, fell down)

I stopped at once and checked everything in me, all over me, as soon as possible. Everything was ok. I turned and looked at him….
A dark guy, with sparkling, shining 'happydent' white teeth, holding a white tshirt at his hand said with extreme amusement and in a calm, irritating voice, “MADAM, ISS SHIRT KA DAAM”,(Maam, this shirt's price has fallen down)

I was all red. All eyes were on me and in such weird moments, instead of being angry, I find them funny. I somehow controlled my smile and behaved as if nothing happened. But a smile betrayed me and escaped my lips and adding to their amusement. I left the place without giving them a second glance.

4. SATURDAY

Today is Saturday. we have half days on Saturdays in the office. I came home at 2. Said hi to a friend in the paying guest I live and came upstairs to my room. Its all dark. Theres no ventilation in my room. I put on the light. Freshen up. Next what? Tomorrow I will go out with friends. No plans for today. I hit the bed and thought of goin to sleep. But when you have nothing important to do or you are free to sleep, neend nahi aati.actually it’s a fact. On weekends I actually get up early in the morning, since I can sleep for a long time and on weekdays even if I get 5minutes more to sleep its heavenly. Anyway, I couldnot sleep and varied thoughts ttacked me like hell. I remembered a day of my childhood. My parents are both working. On Saturdays, I used to come home early. I don’t remember clearly, maybe my dad brought me home from school and he went sleeping. I was all alone in the room. My mom was at her workplace, my sisters, both older to me, were in their respective institutions. My dad being a professor could take breaks inbetween his lectures. I remember it was a cloudy day, and I felt a real pain in my heart. Maybe the loneliness. I knew my mom would be back within an hour and then my dad would go back to his college. Buit that one hour was so unbearable for me. Maybe I was in the 3rd standard then. Yes, I was small, but felt the pain very hard. I was almost crying. I switched on the tv, ‘hip hip hurray’ was on air. I liked that serial. My mind was diverted. Seeing them, I dreamt, one day I too will grow up and be like them. I too will have friends, boyfriend. We will talk lots of stuff. I became happy with all those hopes popping in my heart. I began dreaming. I went out to our verandah, the jhali was closed at the top, I looked out through the small gaps in the jhali into the cloudy sky with glittering eyes and a smile adorned my lips. I was all lost in thoughts. My mom arrived and kissed my cheeks. I was her darling. And I don’t remember further. It became another day.
Today, I felt the same pain. All of a sudden. But things change so much as you grow old. You are the same. Surrounding changes, situations change. But the only thing that has remained same in both the days is ‘ my hope’. I dressed up, fetched an auto and went out . with eyes glittering and lips smiling. i wonder if ‘hope’ is an excuse, I have been using since my kindergarten days, to get rid of the real situation? But its something inbuilt within me. I don’t hope cause I want to. I feel, life is ‘ok’ today, was ‘not bad’ yesterday and ‘beautiful’ tomorrow. Because its still unseen.

3. IDIOTIC MOMENTS

I am a weirdo, at times.
My brain stops working and some weird ideas invade my mind. I do things that is really foolish, idiotic, mad but really interesting. here, i have shared some of them:

One sunny Sunday afternoon, after doing a lot of pending chores in the hostel, I put on multani mitti on my face, and went to take some rest, at around 3pm. i fell into a delicious slumber. My friend knocked at around 8m for dinner, i heard her, but couldnot speak. I thought I am still in my sleep. I stood upright, and tried hard to shout that I am coming in 5minutes, but damn, I couldnot move my lips. Not getting any response, she came inside and switched on the light, when she stood dumb infront of me with her mouth open. The whole face pack was still there all dry like stone. I had to actually put my face inside the bucket full of water for a long time. It became all dry + I had a mild flu for 3 days.

I thought of going on a diet. Sunday in hostel. I know that dieting doesnt mean going on a fast. But I thought lets see, what happens if I don’t eat anything……I didn’t eat dinner, next day no breakfast, no lunch(…I drank only water and two besan ki laddoo in the evening the previous day) and in the evening I was damn hungry. I went out with my friends to the nearby market and ate 2plates of golgappe non stop. I came back. I went to my room. I wasn’t feeling good. I went to the loo. While coming out, I couldn’t walk anymore. I fell down.was unconscious for 2minutes , I suppose. Thankfully my friend came looking for me. the first thing I said to her when I came back to my senses, “you know, while falling down, when I still had some senses, I felt I was falling like a bollywood heroine in a saree, my body actually made a few curvatures, it was thrilling, the experience…”

I took two full buckets of hot water from the geyser which was placed outside the bathing area. Then after sometime, I felt like not taking an elaborate bath, so felt I don’t need two buckets of water. I rotated one bucket in 90degrees, aligning it with the bathroom floor. The bathroom was hardly 1X1m, and the water fell and spread in the small area , and i didn’t have the wildest thought that my legs were also placed in the same floor. I jumped continuously to save my legs from the hot burning water, but again when you jump, how long can you be in the air. I literally was jumping and shouting, and waiting for the water to go. Finally when it was emptied, I came out, with tears on my eyes. Couldnot walk for the day! burnol smelling all over my room.

I had to cut some sheet for model making. I put on a new blade on the cutter. It was shining and looking very sharp. I was telling my friend, “what will happen if I hold this cutter like this (holding it the way it should be hold),and put my other finger like this, (giving support to the sheet with my thumb and middle finger) and cut the sheet like this (cutting a rough sheet), and what if, very smoothly it goes over my middle finger (putting the blade deliberately over the finger with a cunning smile and a james bond sound effect) and oh!...... the sheet was all red with blood. Couldnot submit the model the next day!

I had a very bad cold and cough. The cough was so severe, it was like I had to take a long breathe before starting a cough, and the cough used to be so long, it takes extra time and I couldnot take my second breathe. I had to literally bent down with my head down. I used to live with my sister alone then. Seeing me in this condition, she panicked. The cough used to attack, after a certain time period. There was a curfew in the city that day. so we decided to see the doctor the next day. for the time being, she bought a dabur honey ka big bottle, and said she is going out to the neighbor’s house to find tulsi leaves, as the combination is said to be a very good medicine for cough. She went out. I had the attack again. I took a spoon of honey. I thought its half the medicine, so lets have it soon. I don’t know what happened, I liked the taste so much, one spoon after another , I finished the whole bottle. When she returned and saw the empty bottle, she was all red. Complete silence. Honey is really hot, and having a full bottle is actually not safe. She couldnot sleep the whole night. I couldnot sleep because I felt bad for her. I had been so much trouble to that lonely elder sister. Nothing happened to me and the cough also subsided. Ha!

I brought 12eggs. I brought so many so that I don’t have to go to the market again and again. For a few days I went for a trip with my friends. Before going I put the eggs in the deep freezer, so that it don’t get spoilt.i came back and forgot about the eggs. After a month, when we thought of cleaning the fridge, I found the eggs. They were all frozen. Hard as stone. I literally threw it in the wall, to break it, and it bounced back to me…..an egg, even the chicken would have fainted seeing this! I tried to break it with the knife, karchi, tawa, cooker, no luck. Called up my mom and told the whole story. She said, “try with your head!”
Wedding of my sister’s friend. She told me in the last moment, “you will go with me”, so I wasn’t prepared. It took me sometime to decide what to wear. I finalized. It was almost 4:45pm. we would leave the house at around 6pm. I visualized the whole evening. I panicked, I will look fat. I started walking frantically in our small verandah. Everybody asked me the reason, I didn’t reply. They thought I was angry over something. i was all exhausted by 5:30pm. I went inside and fall flat in the bed. My sister woke me up at around 7pm, and asked “shall we go?”, I got up, get dressed and went. I didn’t say anybody. I was trying to get slim by walking, in that one hour! After all, “its better late than never”.

Watched tom cruise’s “the last samurai”. Was totally flat over him. stood infront of the mirror and pondered the whole night, how can I look like him? why on hell a girl can look like a guy. But I just wanted to look like him. saw every minute detail. After some hours I felt I almost look like him, just my hair are longer. Got the cutter, didn’t have a scissor, and cut the hair the way his hair looked in the movie. It was a disaster!

My friend told me she was working and after finishing her work, she will come to my room and sleep with me. her bed was all messed up. I sais ok and kept the door open. After sometime I felt the bedcover moved. I went to one side and made room for her to sleep. After around an hour when I was deep asleep, the room lights were put on, and I heard that friend shouting….i got up, she said, “oh, I came just now, put on the lights and a cat went out”, …….”what?”

My friends used to tease me with a guy. They said we make a perfect couple. And whenever they saw me thinking or absent minded, they used to say that I am in love. I was in doubt as I didn’t know what was actually “in love” means. So I clarified it by going through these two songs :
:tujhe naa dekhun toh chain, mujhe aata nahi hai, ek tere seeva mujhe aur, koi bhata nahi hai, kahi mujhe pyar hua toh nahi hai?”
my mind replied, “I don’t see him often, mujhe chain aata hai? Hmm….yes, aata hai. Tere seeva koi aur bhata hai? Yes, I like chad michael murray also (my biggest crush at that time).” so, mujhe pyar nahi hua hai. Hence solved.
Second song was. Cross check:
Kya yahi pyar hai? Dil tere bin kahi lagta nhai, waqt guzarta nahi….
Kya dil tere bina kahi lagta hai? Haan kuch interesting kaam ho toh lagta hai, boring ho toh kabhi bhi nahi lagti thi….waqt guzarta hai? Haan guzar jata hai, infact hamesha submission ke liye time kum pad jaata hai”..so, yeh pyar nahi hai….hence solved.
So I was clear, I wasn’t in love.
I actually did this!