Thursday, September 17, 2015

THE GIRL NEXT DOOR


      I went to another floor of the hostel. A new room. There was a girl who was a total chic. She always wore minimum clothes, had heavy busts flaunting all the time and talked in a rather quirky voice. I always found her shouting and laughing in top of her voice in the hostel corridor. She wasn't working and someone told she is a rich spoilt only child of some rich politician. But still, I never make an impression on people based on the looks or what people say. Because sometimes I find some people genuine and nice who are hated by the majority and tagged as 'bad' girl or boy. But yes, I found her irritating, specially her voice.
        As time passed, I talked with her a few times here and there on this and that, and she was ok. Unless she does no harm to me, I have no problem with her.
With time, I noticed she is always nice to everyone. She never complains or shouts unlike her room mate, who gets irritated and angry at each and everything. She always said a "hi" whenever she saw me and talked nicely. Yes, her voice was still irritating, but now when I got close, I actually listened to what she said and she talked sense.
With passing days, I started liking her. She had a positive vibe. She didn't work, was preparing for some exam. So usually she slept the whole day and in the evening she wore almost next to nothing, put on her best make up, all groomed and went out. If not, she would either sit in the TV room watching TV or chit chat with someone in the hostel or talked over the phone. Never had I seen her gloomy, angry, irritated or bitching.
I first liked her when I heard her saying to a girl, "Why do you sit alone and don't talk to anyone?" This girl was a thief and so everybody stayed away from her. As a result she too didnot approach anyone and stayed alone. I overheard the conversation and realised this chirpy girl is so good. The thief girl actually stole food from the fridge and things from everyone's room. And she talked to her so nicely.
When her roommate complained over anything and shouted, she was always calm and stood by her side, listening to her bullshit and trying to solve it. And always at the end, I saw her succeeding in making her roommate smile, either with a joke or otherwise.
She offered whatever she ate, to everyone present. And talked always lovingly to everyone. She had a different attitude to life. She ordered lots of things, dresses, books online, while she was not working. And every day she went partying with friends wearing new expensive clothes. Her lifestyle was different; she was 'living life to the fullest everyday' type.
One day, a Sunday, earthquake hit Delhi, when Nepal was the epicentre. Only we two were present in the whole hostel. We rushed downstairs and waited for long for a second one, as was predicted. And then we talked for the first time.
"Where are you from?" I started.
"Lucknow and Gorakhpur"
"Why two places?"
"Well my father lives in Gorakhpur and my Dadu lives in Lucknow"
I didn't enquire much; I thought maybe her mother lived with her dadu and her father lives away.
"And who else in the family?"
"I have a younger brother. Waise it's a joint family. So there are lot many people, cousins"
"It must be fun, right, especially while growing up?" I concluded the conversation as we went upstairs and then to our rooms.
Then we met again in the TV room, having lunch. We chit chatted again about Shahid Mira wedding and similar stuff. She talks positive. While talking I noticed a tattoo in her wrist to which she said "I will replace this with another one 'Dadu's princess', I have finalised." I smiled, "So your grandfather loves you a lot?"
"He is not my grandfather."
"Then?"
"He is my Uncle, my father's sister's husband."
"Oh......!" Kahani mein twist, I thought. I didnt enquire further.
"So your Uncle loves you a lot? ....Since the tattoo" I resumed.
"Yes, he is the one who had brought me up and never says no to anything. I am his jaan."
"So you live with your uncle?"
"Actually my aunt took me with her after my birth and so, I have always been closed to my Dadu"
"Oh......" I didn't understand.
"Why did your aunt took you?"
"Because she loved me a lot."
"Oh..........." confusing and vague reply it was, I thought.
"So your mother also stays with your aunt?" confused I was, but I questioned.
"No my mother died while giving birth to me. So my aunt took me with her."
"Oh, I m sorry...",
I felt bad, so to cover up, I resumed, 
"..Your uncle and aunt, you mean?"
"It's ok..... No my aunt married later. But she didn't let me go after marriage. Dadu too liked me"
"And your dad?"
"He married again right after my mother's death"
"And this brother?"
"He is dadu's son"
"So you must ne really close to your uncle and aunt?"
"My aunt died in 2010"
"Oh..."
So basically this lovely girl, she never met her mother, her dad remarried and lives away, her aunt adopted her but she too died after marriage and giving birth to a child, so her uncle is her everything in this world now, and thus "dadu's princess"
Her Uncle is quite old and has heart problems, is a rich industrialist and politician. She is the only one to take care of him and vice versa. The brother is young, still in school. And she has to manage the whole business when her uncle gets sick. No joint family members come to help. Her roomie said.
On mother's day, she uploaded an old b/w pic of her mother as her whatsapp profile pic. She looks just like her mother.
..................
I could understand the reason behind her happy go lucky nature. One, who gets everything, complains the most. But she already has lost everything, so maybe she knows the meaning and value of her life and how to live it.
After a few days, she went home, her Dadu was hospitalised. In a few days she left the hostel, her Dadu expired. And her whatsapp status after a few days was, "Now I have nothing to lose" I sighed seeing that.
But but...................I met her again, after a long gap and she is the same, eternally happy, cheerful, shouting. Wearing a skin tight fluorescent green sleeveless short dress, hairs done, hot pink lipstick adorned her lips, high heels and giving me a grin and a bear hug, asked "How are you, Pranamee? Long time"
Her roomie told me one day, when we were discussing her Dadu's death,
"Have you seen her ears? They are small. Even her mother and aunt had small ears. It is said, people who have small ears, die early. And she herself had told me that. She believes in that. So she is living each day"
I don't know about the ear funda but my prediction was right, she is living each day, actually.
.......................
We don't know when we are dying, so is it that which has stopped us from living life each day?


THE BOY IN PAIN




I joined a new hostel. The girls were as bossy as they could be. But amidst them, I saw a timid girl, always silent, and hardly was seen around. After almost a week, getting a little settled in the place, one day, I was cooking in the kitchen, when I saw that girl in the corridor. She had a dusky complexion, tall and slim, plain hair tied in a pony. She wore a blue t-shirt and grey track pants and was walking stealthily towards the bathroom which was adjacent to the kitchen. In a word, she was a 'simple' girl in her early twenties. She looked drowsy, as if she had just got out of bed, although it was 1:30pm by then. I looked at her, but she didn't make eye contact with me and slowly walked towards the bathroom. I continued cooking. After sometime I heard the toilet door open and again, silently, she walked back to her room. I looked at her and said, "Hi" with a smile. She almost surprised stopped and looked at me and smiled saying a timid, "hi". Her smile was so gentle and kind, I almost melted. I wanted to know more about her, and the ever curious me started questioning her.

"Do you stay here? I mean which room?" I smiled in her way, gentle and kind.

"This....!" she pointed towards her room, smiling.

"Oh, I haven't seen you much", I continued.

She just smiled.

I got it, she is the kind who spoke less and so I continued my never ending questions. I don't know why I have always so many questions.

Anyways, I asked, "I am new here, just a week old......... The last one, there, that's my room."

"Ok" she replied.

"Don't you have office today? I haven't joined any office yet, so I am here." I asked and at the same time clarified my reason for staying there at the odd hour.

"No, I don't work, I am studying."

"What?"

"C.A,"

"Oh, that's good....but in that case, don't you have classes now?"

"Oh no, today we have an off."

"Ok"

She was standing there, smiling.

"Ok, you can go" I said, as if she was asking my permission to go.

She nodded her head, again with a smile and went, silently.

 I usually find interest in all types of people but this kind, timid and silent and humble are actually very rare to find now a days that too in Delhi and so she caught my attention so much. I feel somehow good when I see such simple people. Maybe because that breed is so rare.

Days passed. I hardly saw her and the other girls were so loud that I actually forgot that she actually existed. Again, one day, I was in the kitchen, in the evening, and I saw her. Same way, coming to the bathroom, silently with her head down. I said again, "hi". She looked up and again that smile. This time she spoke, "Oh, I didn't notice it was you."

Oh my my, she is so sweet and humble. I instantly had a liking for her.

"How are you?" I smiled her way and asked. I felt, again, so good.

"Good, aap batao, kaise ho?"

"Good, actually no, there's so much problem with my room, there was no airtel signal....." and I narrated her all the problems I had in my room and she listened sincerely. And oh, she talked, but in her own subtle way. She said many things, tried to solve some of my problems and actually revealed some secrets about the place, the landlady, the maid and other girls. She was normal but yes, she had this calm demeanour always. And her smile was always glued to her lips.

One day, my laptop wasn't working and I had to transfer some data. I saw lights in her room and knocked and asked if she could help. And she welcomed me with her usual smile. She made me sit comfortably and handed me her laptop. While the data were being transferred, we chit chatted. She had a fridge and a TV in her room and two beds, all messed up, I would say. While talking, she mentioned she had an elder married sister and a brother.

I asked about her sister and bro in law and where she lived, and she replied. Then her brother, if he was elder or younger to her, to which she became a little hesitant to answer and changed the topic. After sometime, again when her family was mentioned, I asked again,

"Is your brother elder or younger to you?" I just have this habit to have a picture in my mind about her family. That way, I find it good to talk.

Her smile faded and she looked aside. I was still waiting for her answer. "Ha?"

"Older", she said silently.

"Oh, what does he do? Working or studying?" My picture wasn't clear yet and hence my questions continued.

She didn't reply and looked at the TV.

And we started to talk about the serial being aired at that time.

After sometime, I looked at the laptop, the data were still moving slowly from its original folder to its destination folder. It said, 2 hours remaining. The girl was nice but not interesting to talk with. So I was a bit bored. Seeing 2 hours remaining, I again started talking, "So, how often you go home?"

"Very often, I just came back last week. Went for 10 days"

"Oh ...ok"

"So do your parents live alone? Since your sister is married, or your brother lives with them? "

"My brother lives with them."

"Oh, is he working or studying?" Again I asked.

"Actually my brother is handicapped", she replied quickly.

It was an unexpected answer for me.

"Oh ...like how?" I asked after a pause.

She was preparing how to put her words, when I tried to help her asking, "Mentally or physically" the weird me.

"Oh no no, mentally he is fine, physically."

"Oh...........physically how?" I felt very bad knowing it but wanted to know more.

"He is bed ridden."

"Like? Why don't you give him a wheel chair?"

And she explained. "He had been in bed since he was 12 years old. He is 28 now. He can't even move, and is in the same position since 15-16 years."   

"Why don't you guys help him move?"

"He shouts even if someone touches him. He can't even take the touch of my thumb. If I even gently try to touch him with a finger, he shouts." she said pushing her finger slightly against my hand, showing he couldn't even take that touch, it pains.

"Why?"

"Since he hasn't moved for years, there's no blood circulation in his body, for years. So"

I was shocked, "Then like how...? I mean......" I couldn't express what I wanted to ask, I could actually feel his pain. Such a human actually is surviving since 28 years and his real sister is in front of me.

"Eating? He does in bed?" I asked.

"Yes, my mother feeds him, liquid generally. A permanent nurse is also there"

"And toilet and stuff? Must be in bed pane..... But isn't it painful?" I immersed into the situation.

  "He hardly does all that, once a day, maybe. The system inside has slowed down. The doctors surrendered log back. It's my parents, who still hopes and trying everything possible for him. I went home for his operation. "

"How can he go through an operation in that condition?"  I could literally feel the pain.

"Yes, I know, we all said that. Even the doctors but my parents hoped maybe that would bring some improvement."

"Oh- my- God!"

"And does he talk normally?"

"Yes, not like a 28 year old but say a 7-8 years old maybe. He knows the TV channels, serials, sports", she smiled lovingly, but a tired smile.

I wondered what TV channel a guy with that level of pain would enjoy. What a painful life that poor kid is going through. Hell might be better than this.

I just looked at her and wondered, every day might be so painful for the family too, seeing their brother and son in so much pain. I couldn't speak for some time and she was too sitting still, lost in herself. I gave a heavy sigh, so did she.

"Is it by birth?"

"No, he was born normal but had pneumonia after birth for a long duration. When recovered he was normal but had problem in his legs. He couldn't walk properly. But my dad oiled his legs everyday and tried all ways to make him walk. And you know, by 5-6 years, he was able to walk too, he even went to a school." her eyes glittered when saying this. "But then again he fell ill and got bed ridden and couldn't recover after that."

"Oh dear......" I felt like crying. So painful it was.

She showed me the black granite top of the table and told, "His body has become black like this, due to blood clot"

I couldn't say anything more. I came out of the room after some silence. Patted her on her shoulder and asked if she had eaten anything and wanted some biscuits to eat, to which she smiled. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I felt so helpless knowing the story.

.................

How we always grumble about petty things in life, complain all the time, whenever I remember this story, a boy is living in so much pain and his family is seeing him in so much pain every day, I just......!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

WEIRD FUNNY MOMENTS


I am a weirdo, at times.
My brain stops working and some weird ideas invade my mind. I do things that is really foolish, idiotic, mad but really interesting. here, i have shared some of them:

1. One sunny Sunday afternoon, after doing a lot of pending chores in the hostel, I put on multani mitti (face pack)on my face, and went to take some rest, at around 3pm. i fell into a delicious slumber. My friend knocked at around 8m for dinner, i heard her, but couldnot speak. I thought I am still in my sleep. I stood upright, and tried hard to shout that I am coming in 5minutes, but damn, I couldnot move my lips. Not getting any response, she came inside and switched on the light, when she stood dumb infront of me with her mouth open. The whole face pack was still there all dry like stone. I had to actually put my face inside the bucket full of water for a long time. It became all dry + I had a mild flu for 3 days.

2. I thought of going on a diet. Sunday in hostel. I know that dieting doesnt mean going on a fast. But I thought lets see, what happens if I don’t eat anything……I didn’t eat dinner, next day no breakfast, no lunch(…I drank only water and two besan ki laddoo in the evening the previous day) and in the evening I was damn hungry. I went out with my friends to the nearby market and ate 2plates of golgappe non stop. I came back. I went to my room. I wasn’t feeling good. I went to the loo. While coming out, I couldn’t walk anymore. I fell down.was unconscious for 2minutes , I suppose. Thankfully my friend came looking for me. the first thing I said to her when I came back to my senses, “you know, while falling down, when I still had some senses, I felt I was falling like a bollywood heroine in a saree, my body actually made a few curvatures, it was thrilling, the experience…”

3. I took two full buckets of hot water from the geyser which was placed outside the bathing area. Then after sometime, I felt like not taking an elaborate bath, so felt I don’t need two buckets of water. I rotated one bucket in 90degrees, aligning it with the bathroom floor. The bathroom was hardly 1X1m, and the water fell and spread in the small area , and i didn’t have the wildest thought that my legs were also placed in the same floor. I jumped continuously to save my legs from the hot burning water, but again when you jump, how long can you be in the air. I literally was jumping and shouting, and waiting for the water to go. Finally when it was emptied, I came out, with tears on my eyes. Couldnot walk for the day! burnol smelling all over my room.

4. I had to cut some sheet for model making. I put on a new blade on the cutter. It was shining and looking very sharp. I was telling my friend, “what will happen if I hold this cutter like this (holding it the way it should be hold),and put my other finger like this, (giving support to the sheet with my thumb and middle finger) and cut the sheet like this (cutting a rough sheet), and what if, very smoothly it goes over my middle finger (putting the blade deliberately over the finger with a cunning smile and a james bond sound effect) and oh!...... the sheet was all red with blood. Couldnot submit the model the next day!




5. I had a very bad cold and cough. The cough was so severe, it was like I had to take a long breathe before starting a cough, and the cough used to be so long, it takes extra time and I couldnot take my second breathe. I had to literally bent down with my head down. I used to live with my sister alone then. Seeing me in this condition, she panicked. The cough used to attack, after a certain time period. There was a curfew in the city that day. so we decided to see the doctor the next day. for the time being, she bought a dabur honey ka big bottle, and said she is going out to the neighbor’s house to find tulsi leaves, as the combination is said to be a very good medicine for cough. She went out. I had the attack again. I took a spoon of honey. I thought its half the medicine, so lets have it soon. I don’t know what happened, I liked the taste so much, one spoon after another , I finished the whole bottle. When she returned and saw the empty bottle, she was all red. Complete silence. Honey is really hot, and having a full bottle is actually not safe. She couldnot sleep the whole night. I couldnot sleep because I felt bad for her. I had been so much trouble to that lonely elder sister. Nothing happened to me and the cough also subsided. Ha!

6. I brought 12eggs. I brought so many so that I don’t have to go to the market again and again. For a few days I went for a trip with my friends. Before going I put the eggs in the deep freezer, so that it don’t get spoilt.i came back and forgot about the eggs. After a month, when we thought of cleaning the fridge, I found the eggs. They were all frozen. Hard as stone. I literally threw it in the wall, to break it, and it bounced back to me…..an egg, even the chicken would have fainted seeing this! I tried to break it with the knife, karchi, tawa, cooker, no luck. Called up my mom and told the whole story. She said, “try with your head!”

7. Wedding of my sister’s friend. She told me in the last moment, “you will go with me”, so I wasn’t prepared. It took me sometime to decide what to wear. I finalized. It was almost 4:45pm. we would leave the house at around 6pm. I visualized the whole evening. I panicked, I will look fat. I started walking frantically in our small verandah. Everybody asked me the reason, I didn’t reply. They thought I was angry over something. i was all exhausted by 5:30pm. I went inside and fall flat in the bed. My sister woke me up at around 7pm, and asked “shall we go?”, I got up, get dressed and went. I didn’t say anybody. I was trying to get slim by walking, in that one hour! After all, “its better late than never”.

8. Watched tom cruise’s “the last samurai”. Was totally flat over him. stood infront of the mirror and pondered the whole night, how can I look like him? why on hell a girl can look like a guy. But I just wanted to look like him. saw every minute detail. After some hours I felt I almost look like him, just my hair are longer. Got the cutter, didn’t have a scissor, and cut the hair the way his hair looked in the movie. It was a disaster!

9. My friend told me she was working and after finishing her work, she will come to my room and sleep with me. her bed was all messed up. I sais ok and kept the door open. After sometime I felt the bedcover moved. I went to one side and made room for her to sleep. After around an hour when I was deep asleep, the room lights were put on, and I heard that friend shouting….i got up, she said, “oh, I came just now, put on the lights and a cat went out”, …….”what?”

10. My friends used to tease me with a guy. They said we make a perfect couple. And whenever they saw me thinking or absent minded, they used to say that I am in love. I was in doubt as I didn’t know what was actually “in love” means. So I clarified it by going through these two songs :
:tujhe naa dekhun toh chain, mujhe aata nahi hai, ek tere seeva mujhe aur, koi bhata nahi hai, kahi mujhe pyar hua toh nahi hai?”
my mind replied, “I don’t see him often, mujhe chain aata hai? Hmm….yes, aata hai. Tere seeva koi aur bhata hai? Yes, I like chad michael murray also (my biggest crush at that time).” so, mujhe pyar nahi hua hai. Hence solved.
Second song was. Cross check:
Kya yahi pyar hai? Dil tere bin kahi lagta nhai, waqt guzarta nahi….
Kya dil tere bina kahi lagta hai? Haan kuch interesting kaam ho toh lagta hai, boring ho toh kabhi bhi nahi lagti thi….waqt guzarta hai? Haan guzar jata hai, infact hamesha submission ke liye time kum pad jaata hai”..so, yeh pyar nahi hai….hence solved.
So I was clear, I wasn’t in love.
I actually did this!

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

CRUSH


Shilpi was on her way to school. She boarded the school bus. She was excited to give Runa the news. She knew, Runa must have got to know about it the previous day, she might have been jealous for a moment; after all it was not a simple matter that her poem was published in ‘the sentinel’. Her eyes began searching for her dear friend, but what’s this, she couldn’t find Runa in the bus. Shilpi’s bus stop is next to Runa’s. Everyday Runa used to grin at her with eyes shining when Shilpi boarded the bus, everybody in the bus knew that the seat near Runa’s was reserved for her friend. No one used to sit there. It became a habit for everyone. But Runa was a very sweet girl, very honest. She always felt guilty when little students boarding the bus with Shipi looked at the seat with longing eyes with a wish to sit there instead of sitting at the back seats. So, always she used to scold Shilpi,
 “Shilpi, why don’t you come a little faster.”
“Why?” Shilpi asks although she’s quite acquainted of the answer.
“No, it’s very difficult to keep the seat. Those small kids wish to seat here, and I don’t like to deprive them of it….” Runa says with an offended face. 
But Shilpi understands the remaining part that was not said that although she didn’t want to deprive those kids of the seat, she also wanted her friend to sit near her because they had so much to talk, about the new pepsi ad, starring SRK, about their social studies' unit test, and of course, about the new senior student whom they saw talking with the most strict teacher of the school the other day. The teacher never talks to anybody, and that day, she was laughing with that senior student. What could be the reason behind? No one but only Shilpi was the one with whom she could quench her thirst. Her larger than life grin and shining eyes, revealed that.
Finally Shilpi’s large eyes dimmed when the bus conductor said to her smiling, “today your friend didn’t come”
Shilpi smiled, “Runa can’t miss school today, she might have missed the bus; she’ll come, she’ll board the bus in that flyover stoppage”, she added as a quick after thought.
She took a backseat. She was very angry; no one else in the bus would understand her excitement. She would just nearly kill Runa in school. ‘How dare she is to miss the bus!’ She had so much to say her. The reaction of her parents and that of her elder brother who always used to bully her, on seeing the poem.   Oh! She has already started missing Runa. So engrossed was she in her thoughts that she was unaware of Aniket drawing up alongside.
“Shilpi…”, a smart rabbit like eyed Aniket interrupted.
“Hey…..hi”, a little amazed, Shilpi uttered.
“Yesterday your poem was published in the newspaper, right?’ Aniket asked her on his way to sitting near the window just behind her seat.
‘Yeah…..’Shilpi replied, a bit surprised.
‘I read it, it was excellent’
‘Thank you’
‘There you’ve written that your birthday falls on May. Does it really fall on May or…..?’
‘Oh no, it’s just for the sake of the poem…just to make it rhyme....’
She was not satisfied with her answer. She felt a fool, a bit nervous. After all someone is asking something about her creation. She continued, ‘since in the previous line there was uncle pay at the end, so I gave may at the end of the other line…..you know pay….may…, rhyming nah?” what a stupid explanation, she thought.
He smiled nodding his head. A sweet smile expressing that he had understood what she had explained. But his eyes had something else to say. It may be a look of awe, praise and respect that she could write such a nice poem that the publishers there liked it so much that they had published it. Was it that simple? Should she feel proud of it? But he looked at her for a while and smiled, and she felt some mystery underlying it, she felt funny in her knees. Their conversation ended there. After all, they are not close friends. They knew each other but don’t usually talk, just smiles, if by chance their eyes sometimes met; Aniket happened to be the most intelligent and smart boy in their class. And he was very cute too. At the age of 11, a boy could not be called handsome, after all. In fact, he was very sweet. He had red lips and his cheeks got pink, when he smiled. His hair fell on his forehead, and those fringes get moist due to extreme sweating, giving a wet look. He was always on the go, just kept on running here and there with his friends. He was always the leader in whatever the boys did because his friends although equally mischievous, were not smart enough as him, to take the lead. He was a good sportsperson and was a good debator too. He was the favorite of the PT sir. And he had an answer to all questions. He was every teachers favorite. And he had a kid sister too and was quite protective on her part. Sort of a hero! And the icing to the cake was that he was the third rank holder of the class. Runa and Shilpi exchanging the first two ranks. So, although he came after her in studies, but the best among the other boys in class. Shilpi just felt great when she recollected the conversation with Aniket again. Today she felt different; she wanted to avoid the thought that was trying its best to make a position of itself in her mind. She didn’t want to give this thought a green signal because she was afraid that it might hamper her in her studies.
Runa boarded the bus in the flyover stoppage. She was already told about Shilpi, where she was sitting, by the conductor. She headed towards her with her usual grin and shining eyes. 
“Shilpi”, she shouted. Shilpi woke up from her dreams, from that disturbed state of mind.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
‘I saw your poem yesterday; my mom said it was great.’
Shilpi smiled but thought at heart, ‘jealous, she told about her mother but didn’t say that she liked it too.”
But anyways, they were friends. Jealousy was a part, but both of them knew that they loved each other, they were the best friends. When they met each other they talked so much that they just forget what’s going on in the world around, forget about jealousy. But today Shilpi just listened; she was occupied.
Runa was a typical happy go lucky girl, tall, lean with laugh wrinkles at the corner of her eyes. She seemed to be excited about every single thing under the sun. shilpi was waiting for the appropriate time to tell her the news. 
She said, ‘Runa, today Aniket told he had read my poem yesterday and…his father liked it’ she thought, ‘hmm, a lie, why I didn’t say he liked it.’ Anyways she continued, ‘I was surprised, he talked to me; I didn’t know he talks to girls also’ and she giggled.
‘Aniket? He often talks to me. At times, he surpasses the limit. Sometimes I get bored. Sometimes he tries to be too friendly. But he’s sweet, isn’t he?’
‘Hmmm…!’ Shilpi didnt like her response.

That night she went to sleep early. But sleep was a confusion of dreams. She decided, ‘instead of struggling with this confusion, let’s think about it in details. After all it’s just a thought. And the first thought that attacked her as soon as she permitted the entry of that thought, was, ‘Is Aniket in love with me?’ her heart sank. Suddenly she felt shy. She drew her face more close to the pillow and pressed her left cheek along with the nose against it. After that, loads of thoughts attacked her one after another. She thought, ‘may be....,ummm because, errr.... after all, I am the topper of the class. I am intelligent, outspoken, sincere, smart and quite pretty. And I am liked by my teachers too. I always get highest marks in the unit tests; at least always score more than him. And finally, my poem has been published in the newspaper. Her thoughts went wild, ‘if he comes to me and proposes me? What will I do?’ she came back to her senses. She put a halt to her thoughts. She thought, ‘no Shilpi, no. stop thinking. Think about your next unit test. If you keep on thinking this, Runa will get the highest marks. So, forget everything, concentrate on social studies now.’
With those strict instructions, she composed herself for a nap. These days she worked very hard. That thought tried to disturb her, but she locked her heart’s door, strictly prohibited its entry. When that thought came to her mind on seeing him in the class or at bus, she quickly ordered her mind to think about the main points of harappan civilization that was the most important part of the test. She began to recollect the points and consequently her mind got disturbed from that thought. 
Her test was over. She gave out a sigh of satisfaction. It went well. A smile adorned her lips, she gave her best. Now there’s no more tension till the announcement of the next test. 
She thought on her way home from the bus stop, ‘if by chance he becomes ‘the one’, I will tell him the wishes I have never told anybody else, and listen to his’. We will meet everyday after school in that old church, and talk for hours. He speaks a lot, so, he will speak and I will smile at him silently, being a quiet listener, he will make me laugh by his humorous jokes. We can plan our future together. If we can go to the same college for higher studies, it will be so great.’ 
That night she let her thoughts go wild. But generally it always happens that when we do not want to think something, it comes over to our mind again and again, but when we set it free, when we sit properly to concentrate on that particular thought clearly, we feel as if that thought is the most stupid thing in the world, it ends so quickly that we have nothing left to think after that. We try our best to make it beautiful but it just vanishes; the same thing happened with Shilpi that night.
She started, ‘my dad knows his dad. He once said that they belong to good, old family of the town. And his mother once told my brother, when he met him on our way back from the tuition, ‘Shilpi is a very good girl. All the teachers in school says so, I have seen her maths’ answer sheet, everything is written so neatly, every examiner would love to give her marks. I always tell Aniket to write like her. But he is very naughty, you know’, well, that means she will approve of me. And my parents will also not say no to Aniket, I think. Is he the one?’ a smile escaped her lips, ‘no man! What am I thinking….my man will be different’ 
She thought again, ‘but, if he comes to me and …’ 
‘Are all these really going to happen?’ she felt a pain in her heart.
‘What rubbish, why will he come to me? He is just a friend. Stupid. And anyways, what do you know about him, his likes, dislikes, his ambitions, and dear, what rubbish you are up to, you are still too small for all these.’ And she stopped there.
A few days later, as usual, Shilpi and Runa were chatting in the bus.
‘Did you read today’s newspaper?’ Shilpi asked.
‘No, I didn’t get time. Why?’ Runa questioned.
‘The after effects of yesterdays earthquake in Australia in the top stories. Perth was the epicenter.’ Her main motive on saying this was to let her friend know that she knew this new, uncommon word 'epicenter' that she got acquainted with just that morning. Aniket was sitting in front of them and hearing this; he turned around and said, ‘yeah, I have read too. The president is going to pay them some funds and….’ 
Runa thought, ‘showing off, huh! Why didn’t I read the newspaper today!’
‘You girls like reading the newspaper?’ Aniket questioned.
‘Yeah…’, a spontaneous answer to an unexpected question. Not concerning about the reply, he added, ‘I also love to, especially the headlines given in the left side are very interesting, aren’t they?’ he was adressing Shilpi this time.
‘Yes’, shilpi smiled thinking … ‘he talks’.
Usually her brother goes to pick her up from the tuition but that day, the teacher was ill, so they were sent half an hour earlier. She didn’t wait for her brother but went with the group of friends that included both juniors and seniors. Aniket was also in the group. The boys were really very naughty, they shouted the whole way, singing songs, cracking jokes, teasing each other etc. she heard Aniket saying something which really made her laugh. It goes something like this, ‘you know my friend’s grandma died when she was five years old.’
‘What? ha ….ha..ha..!’ everybody laughed.
Shilpi murmured to herself, ‘he is humorous too.’
That day again she dreamt, ‘he’s not bad.’ Again the same thought came. But today she sat down to dream it in a beautiful day. She thought of directing the scene;’ if while coming from art school….no, usually Runa accompanied her while coming from the art school and if not Runa, her other friends are always there with her, so she thought of another place, yeah, the bus, suppose Runa is absent like the other day and he comes to me with a nervous and blushing face, proposes me , what will I do? It’s sure that I’ll reject it, the proposal but how, should I be angry and scold him, ‘do you know what are you saying, is this your age to say so? Or should I smile and just say no, after all he is from a good family.’
Next day, Runa didn’t give her the usual grin. She looked at her, smiled in a matured way, but Shilpi could read her eyes, they had been together since the 2nd standard. She understood Runa wanted to say her something but what? She pondered over it and finally thought not to question her. Runa was a girl, who could not keep things for long in her stomach. She would soon tell everything.
In the lunch break, they went to the garden. They were sitting without talking looking at the distant sky. Both occupied by their own thoughts.
Runa was the one to break the silence. ‘Shilpi, I want to say something to you.’ With a female reticence Runa started.
‘Yesterday in music school, a boy….actually I don’t know him nicely, just see him, with the other boys in the art school ….’,she stopped.
‘So? What? Shilpi unable to understand. 
‘Actually, after I reached the class, all the girls were laughing at me. I didn’t understand. then Payal told me that Sunny wanted to say me something.’
‘Who’s Sunny?’ Shilpi with eyes larger than life and a thin smile revealing that she had understood something, questioned her.
‘That was the question that I too asked her’, Runa couldn’t suppress her smile anymore, she was all red but her eyes and her face were glowing too. 
‘I didn’t know that, that boy was Sunny, I knew him but hadn’t talked with him ever. Payal and my other friends laughed at me again on hearing my question.
Sunny gingerly approached me ‘I am sunny and….’
‘And what?’, Shilpi interrupted with excitement when Runa hesitated to say the remaining part.
‘And he proposed me, then and there in front of all.’ she whispered looking down.
‘What?’ Shilpi’s eyes grew bigger than ever. ‘How did he get the courage?’
‘It’s not a matter of courage or such. He felt it and so he said it.’ Runa looked up.
‘What did you say him, you must have scolded him’, Shilpi, still surprised, comforted her nervous friend.
‘No, I just didn’t know what to say. I just smiled. But see, he is prudent….shamelessly bold. Straightway he said it.’ Runa uttered.
Prudent was the word that they got that morning in the English chapter, which was being taught. Shilpi secretly admired Runa that she could use that new word so well, in the right situation. But anyways, she was a bit surprised on hearing Runa. If she were in her place, she would have straightway scolded the boy.
‘Why did you smile? What did you mean by that?’ shilpi said after a pause.
‘I don’t know, I didn’t mean anything. My smile was spontaneous.’
‘But if he thinks that you accepted his proposal, then?’
‘Then what?’
‘Means, he will be your boyfriend and you are his…’
‘Yeah, may be. Anyways, what’s wrong in having one? After a pause Runa continued, ‘actually I couldn’t say no to him. His heart might break. So, I thought its wise to keep quiet.’
‘but you don’t know his family, will he be able to cope with your family, what are his ambitions in life, if he thinks in the same line as you, …..’Runa interrupted, with a smile, ‘ silly girl, you are taking it too critically,’
Shilpi didn’t like her attitude, ‘she’s different from me.’, she thought.

Later that day, on her way home from the bus stoppage, she thought over the whole conversation they had. Runa said that there’s no harm in having one boyfriend. She thought about Aniket, ‘no, no’, a voice came from her heart, she asked herself,
‘Then what were all those?’
‘Just…fantasies of the mind.’ a smile escaped her lips and she hit her head lightly with her palm.
Then by and by, that thought found its own place in her heart and it remained in her heart. It disturbed her a lot, and she kept on dealing with it the same way. After about five-six months, there was the school day celebration. Shilpi was participting in a drama. She knew Aniket would be singing a song but didn’t give much attention towards it. Their drama was over. They were highly appreciated. Shilpi with her co-partner in the drama, Vanshita, sat among the audience to enjoy the other programs of the night, and more honestly, to take some rest. Vanshita was also in the same class. She is a good actress. She was playing the lead role in the dance drama. They enjoyed a lot, sitting among the audience and watching programs while their other friends were standing behind the audience, and some controlling the uncontrollable juniors. Generally students are not allowed to sit and that was the main reason of their excitement. The song by Aniket was announced, they sat properly to watch their classmate performing.
He sang a Bryan Adam’s number. It was great. He looked very very cute. He was smiling throughout the whole song. He has his own charisma. He looked so appealing. Shilpi didn’t change a glance anywhere else. She dreamt, ‘he sings, I dance….’
Vanshita said in the midst of the song, ‘he sings well, doesn’t he?’
‘Yeah…’ Shilpi smiled back at Vanshita, 
‘I am thinking … when he would be a bit older…means….bigger in both age and height, he would be ……just perfect,……nah?’ with eyes, lips, face smiling, these words popped out from Shilpi's mouth.
‘You are so right’, Vanshita said, with the same excitement and longing.
Then they exchanged a mischivious smile, they knew not why, but man, what are they talking, what did she mean by that. They just smiled, didn’t talk about that anymore. There was silence, but there was no silence in Shilpi’s heart. The thought, today, flowed like a volcanic eruption, ‘if he comes to me and………..’
She looked at him again. 
‘Would it be a mistake to say no?........Shilpi? Should I say yes?’ She tried her utter best to hold her smile, she sneezed, she coughed, but no, the smile was out there, right from the heart. She couldn’t stop it, finally she gave way, and smiled openly. She felt so wonderful. She looked down at her feet, her face all red.
Suddenly She heared Vanshita uttering something, ‘His father has got transferred. They will go to Delhi.’
'What?' Suddenly her heart sank, she shouted ‘Who said you that?’
‘Yesterday, during the rehearsals, Aniket himself said that to PT sir.’
Shilpi looked at Aniket again. He was still singing. He was still singing well, he was still looking very cute, handsome and appealing.’
She whispered to herself, ‘anyways, I was going to say him no.’ she sighed. 

Tartare

It was during a college trip to Milan, Italy. We had a filling Italian buffet breakfast served in our hotel. But the site visit in the mor...